Thursday, June 24, 2010

Life's Last Season

The person who actually inspired me to start this blog is my Grandfather, although he'll probably never know it. My Mom is Swiss and my Grandfather - or Grosvati as we've always called him lives in Bern Switzerland thousands of miles away. We've always gone to visit him during summers and spent weeks at his house exploring the country he loves so much. Just this past year his cancer took a turn for the worse and this week everyone says he's dying.
My mom is over there with him now and says he won't live much longer. Mom is a presbyterian minister and Grosvati asked her weeks ago to do the service when he passes away. She's been working on it for days and it struck me what a huge almost impossible task it is to put into words everything you feel about a person. All the love and years of memories - all the pain and emptiness of can you even begin to think of what to say to honor a person who meant so much?
As I listened to her read a few of the sentences from her sermon over the phone I began to wonder, if I died tomorrow - what would people say about me? What would my legacy to this world be, and how would I be remembered...we may all live through the same four seasons - and pass through the same stages of life, but what we do with it is our choice.
My grandfather lived every single day to its fullest. He enjoyed life and the people around him, and was never afraid to speak his mind or go after what he wanted. Lying in bed in these last few days of his life he's told my Mom how thankful he is for that. One day, when my life is coming to a close, I'll be lying in that bed, reflecting on how I spent each day, and I want to be able to say that too with a full heart.
I want to be like my Grosvati and know that I gave everything I had.
This blog will be my witness - as I go through all the seasons of life, I want to learn through writing and write to help understand and remember; reflecting on my actions, my world and my life.